So Thanksgiving is almost over in a couple of minutes and can you believe I've been away from my family most of my afternoon and in my room the whole night waiting to watch a "movie" just because I wanted us to spend a few hours together on this family gathering holiday ...
In total I've watched XFactor which I never tuned into the season but since I was left with nothing to do I decided to watch that, then my boredom drifted to my computer and watching random YouTube video's till this very moment. Still ... no movie. To be honest I wasn't even in a movie mood to begin with because today just is not my day but because it IS thanksgiving day I wanted to do something with my boyfriend since my sister spent the whole day with her fiance I thought to myself, "Hey, let me watch a movie with my babe".
Apparently there was no service .... but you got my angry text and responded to it .... right.
Why am I so uptight about this? I know he's not cheating, at least I hope. My thing is .. this was the EXACT reason I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. It is my biggest pet peeve when shit like this happens. It makes me feel like I'm the rebound the your boredom, ON TOP OF THAT his mother has yet to know anything about me .. I'm over here bending my back trying to see how I can get a way into his sisters heart also with his mother ... Is it too much wanting to have a relationship with his family? It's just 2 people and it seems like the whole world. In a way this lagging of him trying to get this done just makes things worse in my position and it just makes me feel like there's something about me he want's to hide from them? I've spoken about this before and I just can't seem to comprehend the difficulty in this. If anything I'm the one who should feel embarrassed and guilty and ashamed and sorry and everything in the book but this wait is draining my confidence everyday longer it takes.
My love is so invested in him and only him that it hurts my heart so bad just thinking of him hurting me.
Ugh, this is by far the worst Thanksgiving ever.
For some reason somethings telling me this isn't going to work ... :'(
Well, I have work tomorrow ... sleeping by myself tonight. Goodnight!
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